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Showing posts from 2009

He gave her a window

For the first time in three months when I said, "I love you," to my mom tonight she saw me. She saw ME. It was so different than any other time - like God was in the room and gave her a "window" Himself. As I cried, I pressed my cheek against her's and heard her sigh the kind of sorrowful sigh only a Mother can when she knows her child is pained. I want her back. I want her for more than ten seconds. I don't know what I'm going to do when she's gone. -- Post From My iPhone

Virtual Christmas Card

Merry Christmas from the Grandles! Send your own ElfYourself eCards

A year ago today

It has been a year since my mom went to UAMS for what we believed would be a short stay. As you know, things turned out very differently. Eleanor and I have talked a few times over the past week about how sad we feel. Neither of us thought this time of year would be difficult, but we were quickly proven wrong. A year ago my mom started acting out in some unusual ways. She stopped eating, drinking, and sleeping. She refused to take her medicine on most occasions, and spent a lot of time talking to herself in the mirror. Eleanor was telling me tonight that she remembered trying to get my mom to go to bed last December 16. Mom was so upset and confused and didn't want to leave her "friend" in the mirror. The next day I got a call from my brother George. They had to take my mom by ambulance to UAMS. That morning she became severely agitated and was uncontrollable. The hope was that after a short stay at the hospital she would be evaluated, regain normal fluid and electrolyte

Fall on Your Knees

I've been thinking a lot about this for the past few weeks. I hesitated to write about it, but it has had an impact on me and I think its time I share it. Our pastor, Matt Chandler, was diagnosed with a two-inch brain tumor after suffering a seizure on Thanksgiving Day. He had surgery to remove it on December 5, and heard the pathology report today, December 15 (the report will be shared with the church body tomorrow via email). You can go here to read more from our pastors and elders. I can't stop thinking about the song O Holy Night. A song that so richly describes our Hope. We sing this song every year, but I never stop to read and meditate on the promise of these words. So, please join with me and fall on your knees before our Savior in prayer for the Chandler family. O holy night! The stars are brightly shining, It is the night of Our dear Saviour's birth. Long lay the world In sin and error pining, ' Til He appear'd And the soul felt its worth. A thrill of ho

He Came

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body." Romans 8:18-23 Our sermon today was a topic that's been on my heart this entire week - really for the past month. Everything down to the scriptures that were used; My heart has been wrestling with and praying through each one of them

The Reason for the Season

I don't think I even really realized it until last year when my mom wasn't with us for Christmas. Everything was different. I didn't want the gifts I had been so excited to get from Reid. I didn't want to spend Christmas money. I didn't want anything. I was disgusted that the focus was so skewed. My feelings haven't changed. I think it is sad that a sacred holiday has become an excuse to give thousands of dollars of gifts. Its made me realize I want to be very intentional about the traditions I start with my own kids someday. Not to say there won't be gifts, but I don't want gifts to be the focus of Christmas Day. That said, my friend Jennifer (Luke and Emerson's Mom) sent me this video about the Advent Conspiracy today. I think it says it all.

More house pics

Our den furniture was delivered today! Now we just need our dining room table and chairs to come in and we will be set! Den/ breakfast room - not done, but getting closer! Looking from the family room Reid's study. There is a brown accent wall that his desk is on that looks cool but the picture didn't turn out. My camera is dead and I can't find the charger so all of my pics have to be from my phone. Guest room Hall bath Master bedroom Master bath Front porch decorated for Christmas! -- Post From My iPhone

House Pictures

Well, we are settled into our house and we love it! Reid was home from the 20th until this past Sunday which was a wonderful treat! We loved coming home from Thanksgiving in Little Rock to our HOME - we've been ushered even further into adulthood! Every life step we take brings us closer together, and buying a house was no exception. Reid and I came home from Little Rock on Friday so we could have a few days to finish unpacking, painting his study, and spend some quality time together. He left yeasterday and won't be back until a few days before Christmas so it was good to have the weekend together. Anyway, yesterday after he left I tackled the last of the boxes! We are officially unpacked AND settled. Here are pictures of a few of the rooms. I'll finish taking the others tomorrow. Enjoy! Family Room. We still have to hang a lot of our pictures and I have been ordered to wait for Reid to do that! Breakfast area off the kitchen. Still needs pictures hung. Kitchen looking

A year later and still Thankful

I kept telling myself, "If I can just make it through this year..." The first year of my mom being in a nursing home and of the disease taking more of her than we had anticipated would happen so quickly. Everytime things got harder to face, I became understandably weary. Weary emotionally, physically, relationally. At times nothing makes sense. But then someone said it, so perfectly, in a note I received this week. She said, "I sense the deep loss you already feel and anticipate that physical absence will only deepen that hole." How true were her words. This entire year, for me and my family, has been about learning to process still seeing our Mom, but losing everything we know her to be. Weary, at times, but so Thankful for all we have learned - about our God and His Sovereign plan, about ourselves, about eachother. For that we are Thankful. And, we will wait and find Hope that someday we will know His plan in all of this. A year ago yeasterday, as I mentioned last

A year later and still Thankful

I kept telling myself, "If I can just make it through this year..." The first year of my mom being in a nursing home and of the disease taking more of her than we had anticipated would happen so quickly. Everytime things got harder to face, I became understandably weary. Weary emotionally, physically, relationally. At times nothing makes sense. But then someone said it, so perfectly, in a note I received this week. She said, "I sense the deep loss you already feel and anticipate that physical absence will only deepen that hole." How true were her words. This entire year, for me and my family, has been about learning to process still seeing our Mom, but losing everything we know her to be. Weary, at times, but so Thankful for all we have learned - about our God and His Sovereign plan, about ourselves, about eachother. For that we are Thankful. And, we will wait and find Hope that someday we will know His plan in all of this. A year ago yeasterday, as I mentioned last

We're all adults?

Happy 21st Birthday Ellie B! I am thankful for you today as we celebrate your birth. I really can't believe the day has come that we are all adults! (It was a year ago today that we took these family pictures with Ashley Carson. Hard to believe how quickly time has gone by). -- Post From My iPhone

Getting settled

We are getting settled into our home since our move on Saturday. Reid's parents came in town over the weekend to help which was much appreciated! All that is left is some basic closet organizing (since we shrunk from circa 2005-size closets to circa 1958-size closets), moving some of Reid's old college boxes to the attic (yes, he still has unpacked boxes from college), a couple more coats of paint on the study, and boxes of things that go in the study. Today was the first day it really felt like home to me, though. It was the first time I didn't pass our house when I drove down the street. Those first few days it really felt weird driving home to this house instead of the apartment. And, of course, I cried when we picked up our last load from the apartment last night. Even though it was an apartment it felt like a house, and for three years it was our home. It was the first place we lived together. I'll remember it forever. Tonight I made dinner for the first time in my

The Story of the Silver Lab Puppy

Have I mentioned I hate packing? Well I hate packing. Reid lands tomorrow and we are going to the house as soon as he gets in. I can't wait, but seriously I'm so ready for this to be over. I keep telling Reid I'm never moving again - like, at least not for ten years. He says he'll be sure to remind me of that when we have three kids, two dogs, and tons of toys. Whatever. Anyway, about my puppy story. I'm not a big animal person. Maybe because mom always was - there were rabbits, Guinea pigs, hamsters , dogs, fish, turtles, and cats. You name it, she raised it. By the time I was in college I swore I would never have pets of my own. Then there was Reid, and when we got to college and knew we were going to get married I realized getting a dog someday was going to be part of the package. I've gone back and forth for a while, but when we started looking at houses I became really excited. We have known since college we would one day have a male and female Lab. We'

"Oh, so you're Pregnant?"

Don't get your hopes up - we aren't expecting. I do, however, have another "Mare Moment" to share. So, if you don't mind, try to follow me. I went to get a massage tonight. It was great. I'd been looking forward to it all day. My back was killing me from packing and Reid told me to take time to go. So, I'm sitting in the "Tranquility Room" filling out my forms when I came across the line where I would fill in my occupation - I wrote, "None." I continued on and thought nothing more about it. Then my "Massage Consultant" (we'll call him MC) comes in to talk to me about customizing my masage. Wonderful, right? No. He starts to read my paperwork and gets stuck at "None" for occupation. Here's how the conversation played out: MC: "'None?' Does that mean you're a student?" Me: "No, I'm not in school and I don't work." MC: "Oh, so you were laid off. Me: "Nope. I stay

We own a home!

-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 My brother George took these pictures one afternoon in the driveway of Mom and Dad's. I think they are amazing! We learned late this afternoon from the results of the xrays that my mom has cervical spinal stenosis . We believe that this could be causing her pain, and therefore become agitated. The treatment option that will be tried first is to control the pain with ibuprofen or the like. It is also possible to try arthritis medication to control the pain. It will take speaking with a doctor to find the best course of treatment. We are expecting, after today's news,

More Tuesday

Here are some pictures I took after she perked up! It's the best she's been in a while! -- Post From My iPhone

Tuesday

No news today. We hope to have the results from the X-Rays and blood work tomorrow morning. Mom had a special guest tonight. Toby was waiting eagerly to run off the elevator to find Mom. They were both really excited! He kissed all over her face! Mom and her Toby Dog. And, now he's waiting patiently to lick her ice cream bowl. -- Post From My iPhone