Thursday, May 17, 2012

Redeemed


Redeemed: To buy back. To change for the better. To atone for. To restore.


Today I held my little girl for the first time in her almost six weeks of life. It was a glorious hour that I'll never forget. Each moment and movement so vividly carved forever in my memory. Oh, how I love this child.


For a long time I've been afraid of the day they would tell me I could hold her. I held Mary Grace and Madelyn as they breathed their last breaths. To me, holding my child meant a painful goodbye.


I worried for weeks that Olivia's life would end the same way - that my first time to hold her would also be my last. There was a part of me that had been hurt so badly and, whether I fully realized it or not, I was trying to guard my heart from more pain. 


Over the last few weeks something in my heart began to change. I ached to hold her.


In my mind, yesterday afternoon was the beginning of redemption. 


O Israel, hope in the Lord!
For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption. (Psalm 130:7)

22 comments:

Allison said...

Beautiful:)

Kathy said...

Oh I am SO VERY happy for you! That truly is so redeeming and so very special. Praise the Lord! I absolutely love the pic with her hand on your chin.

Megan said...

How precious! So excited for you! Continuing to pray for you and your family - hoping she continues to grow healthy and strong!

kate said...

I'm speechless. And teary eyed of course. So thankful and grateful for redemption and how the Lord allows it in our lives.

Elizabeth French Cooper said...

Your words are so powerful and meaningful. I'm so glad you got to hold your sweet girl. It's a beautiful sight. Love you!

Tiffany said...

I am so happy for you!! Praying for Miss Olivia, you and Reid as you all continue through this journey. Olivia is perfect in everyway and is extremely lucky to have such wonderful parents!

Allison said...

Wonderful.

Cara said...

My heart is full of joy!

Mallory said...

What a wonderful post! I just want you to know I found your blog shortly before you went on bedrest and have written your names in my prayer journal each night since. Prayers from southern Missouri!

Tesha said...

Praise the Lard GOD is GOOD!!!! Still praying for you and her :)

Linds said...

My heart is so full for you! I love the picture of her hand on your chin... you can tell she LOVES you and she's still so tiny. Praying for all of you daily....

Sarah said...

Oh my goodness! God is good! This is almost making me cry HAPPY tears!!

Jenny and Mark Bradley said...

Simply amazing. My heart is bursting for you. What joy! I love that for you and Reid.

Gretchen said...

The look on your face in the last picture says it all. Olivia is right where she belongs, in her mama's arms. God is so good!

Hooks Family said...

what a sweet blessing! praying for you in Brandon, MS!
Beth Hooks

Anonymous said...

YEA! YEA! YEA! So happy!

sonja said...

Perfection! Her tiny hand on your chin says it all.

I waited 16 days to hold one of my sons ... I cannot imagine 6 weeks. So, so happy for you!

carrie said...

What a beautiful sight!

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog (very often through tears) for several weeks now. I am praying for Olivia to pull through and praying for that moment when you get to bring her home and start your life as a family in your home together. God is so good and faithful. He has big plans for this little sweetheart. Thank you for sharing your heart!

The Lady of the House said...

This is such a beautiful post! I am so happy that she's doing well and you're thriving too!

allura said...

You don't know me but I am Jennifer's mom (Fountainfamilyblog.com) She posted your blog on hers b/c she was so deeply affected by your fervent and constant love for the Lord even in the midst of the deepest of sorrow. I want you to know that you are shining the light of the Gospel into the dark world around you, and I believe God is glorified through your very real season of suffering. And I wanted to say thank you. I've never know the kind of loss you have experienced. But I serve the same God you do, and He is worthy of your praise. May you sense His sweet presence in your sorrow and in your joy. God bless you, your husband, and your sweet Olivia.

Anonymous said...

Olivia must have been in heaven when she got to hear your heartbeat, and to be snuggled by your warmth once again! God has YOU each in His hand- and little Olivia is is such a beautiful reminder of His Grace :) Beautiful, beautiful photos and what a gorgeous child!

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