Wednesday, November 13, 2013

T-3 Weeks

I realize that I haven't blogged about this pregnancy at all other than the two big highlights: that there was a pregnancy and when we found out she was a girl!

Things have been pretty uneventful. We did have a little "scare" at 24 weeks. Really, it just came down to me not knowing what a normal pregnancy felt like. This baby is a mover and must have been doing flips or something that caused a super weird sensation. But, after a few hours and tests in L&D one Saturday afternoon we learned everything was perfectly fine.

To be honest, I think a lot of why I haven't blogged much this time around is because I still worry from time to time that everything has been too perfect. It's been hard to go from a worst case scenario to a normal one. I feel extremely grateful and my doctor reminds me with every visit that God has been so gracious to us. And He has, don't get me wrong. Worry crept in at the very beginning, literally the moment the "yes" showed up on that little stick. I prayed constantly those first few weeks as I tried to combat horrible anxiety. The Lord was definitely faithful to help me overcome so many of my fears. I finally came to the realization that I could literally worry about everything - would I miscarry, would she be healthy, would I go on bed rest, could preterm labor happen again, and on and on. Or, I could admit that there was really very little within my control and find comfort in knowing my worry couldn't and wouldn't change God's plan for Mary Brooke. The freedom that has come from that realization has been so redeeming for me. It definitely doesn't mean that all my worry just disappeared, but I know now I have to surrender those fears.

We feel as ready as we can be to meet our fifth daughter. I've tried to imagine what her birthday will be like, how different it will be from the days we delivered her sisters. I had to stop trying to imagine it because it makes me so emotional thinking about how that day will bring everything we've gone through full circle, Lord willing.

We had several 4D sonos between 28-34 weeks. At 34 weeks Mary Brooke's weight was estimated to be just over 6 pounds. From what we can tell she is going to be a good size baby with chubby cheeks and a head full of hair. We can already tell she has my nose and looks a lot like Olivia.

I'm not sure how much Olivia really understands when we talk about baby/sissy/Mary Brooke. If I ask her where the baby is she will usually lean down and hug and kiss my stomach. If we are out and she hears a baby crying or sees a baby she pats her own stomach. :) She loves to read the book "You're Getting a Baby Sister." And, go figure, she's very interested in all the baby gear we've gotten out.

Mary Brooke,
We are so excited to meet you! I can't wait to see exactly what you look like and get to learn how to really take care of a newborn. Your daddy talks almost everyday about how excited he is to snuggle you. We love you so much already, sweet girl.
Love,
Mommy







2 comments:

Bec74 said...

I have been checking for updates,So glad to hear all is good with you and baby girl :)
Prayers for a safe and smooth delivery and healthy baby !I

michelle said...

I too have been checking for updates hoping all is well & I am so happy to here it is! :) What you shared about worry is powerful -- that it doesn't change God's plan for us. I feel like hanging that on my wall! I'm so glad you feel the Lord helping you overcome your fears. I'm sure we'd all be in your shoes having gone through what you have. Again, I'm so happy for the blessing of Mary Brooke in your life and look forward to seeing her arrive & life from there. So excited for you. :)

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